Forget Falling in Love with the “Perfect” Guy

This article is by Regina Bethencourt and was published in Verily Magazine.

My future husband was going to be tall, blond, strong, and quiet. His melancholic, withdrawn, and tragically romantic nature was going to perfectly complement my upbeat, outgoing personality. We were going to fall in love after an accidental meeting (hopefully in the rain) and begin an incredible, passionate journey that would eventually lead to a house in the suburbs with an impeccable lawn and lots of blue-eyed, blond-haired, beautiful children.

I am exaggerating a little (OK, maybe a lot); I wasn’t quite this unrealistic. But I can admit that I did have this kind of fantasy-husband trap for a long time. I know I’m not the only one. The fantasy varies depending on the woman, but the pitfall is the same: We are looking for the man who matches our already decided-upon profile, and no other man can satisfy.

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